Oleg G. Kalina

The recent analysis of clinical psychotherapeutic and counseling practices shows that children’s problem with separation today is reaching its highest levels. There is a substantial increase in emotional and behavioral disorders as children have more and more trouble of letting their mothers go and adapt to the environment of kindergartens and primary schools. Subsequently, it is problematic for mothers to get back their independence and return to work. At separation from their mothers, children are often unable to cope with the powerful emotions they experience and don’t get any help in doing so. The article gives advice to caregivers on how to read children’s subtle nonverbal communication to understand what a child is going through when parting with his or her mother.

The toy has long been considered an essential attribute and a tool of development. This article emphasizes great importance of toys, which allow the child dealing with “uneasy” feelings and fantasies associated with the development of sense of personal identity and independence. These include the “evil” toys (toy guns, Bionicle, monsters, etc.), toys with identified sex (dolls with sexual characteristics, etc.) and dolls with “difficult” emotions clearly marked on their faces (anger, disgust, etc.). Playing with such toys does not make the child angry or “immoral”, as some psychologists assume, but it gets the opportunity to get in touch and to develop inner fantasies, to symbolize personal feelings of which pedagogues and parents are often unaware.

The article describes the current theoretical and practical views on the importance of a father for a child’s mental development. Particular attention is paid to subtle aspects of the representation of the paternal figure in the inner psychic world. In the case of several observations it is shown how preschool children create and develop fantasies in terms of psychoanalytic theory about the role of father in their lives and in the life of their family. Practical advices on the interaction of fathers with their children in a stressful situation of parting in the kindergarten are given. Special role that a mother must play in order to facilitate the emergence of a child’s inner world, filled with thoughts, feelings and fantasies about his father is described.